Saturday 1 January 2011

Finding out

This time next week we'll know.

Boy or Girl?

Entirely new wardrobe of stuff with cars and monkeys on it? Or a lifetime of handmedowns?

Because we've decided.  We're finding out.

We didn't with L.  We didn't want to spoil the surprise.  But the thing you realise when you actually have a baby is that the baby is the surprise; the crying, wailing, blood-and-gunk-covered, amazing bundle of pink and white and odd grey-blue that someone's just handed you.  She could have been boy, girl or anything in between and I'd still have been astonished by her.

We did find out with A and S.  We were being scanned every two weeks. Somehow when they're giving you fortnightly updates on their blood flow, projected weight and leg length, it feels stupid not to find out what there is (or isn't) between those legs.   We knew so much about them before they were born, but the meeting them was still nothing I could have imagined.

So this time, we've got form for either. But we're going to find out.  I think.

I want a boy.  Everyone else wants me to have a boy.  It's my turn for a boy.  I've got three girls already. A boy would be amazing.

Mums of boys tell me that no-one will ever love me like a son.  I'd love to know if that's true.  I'd like not to be scared by the thought of changing my friends' boys' nappies.  It's about time too that B had someone to keep him company, now and in 12 years time when this house becomes a monthly war zone of oestrogen;  that he, the eldest of three brothers, had someone to be a boy with himself.

A boy would be so exciting.  For me, for B, for our families who are inundated with girls.  Of course we want a boy.

But I want a girl too.  I know girls. I have girls.  The girls want a girl (well, L does; the little ones are more at the pointing at my tummy stage and saying "baby" because they know it makes me smile.)  A girl would be easy. The dynamic of four girls would (I hope) just work.

So I lurch - I imagine it's a boy and get all excited at the thought of telling people, of the different, of the new.  And then I imagine another girl, the familiar and safe, the four little girls playing together, and I want a girl.

I guess I must just want a baby.  Maybe we should leave it as a surprise... Because really I know: whoever (and whatever) he (or she) turns out to be, he's going to surprise us.

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Oh, and I hope everyone had a splendid Christmas!  We were mostly ill, but still managed to have fun, and even better Father Christmas (or Santa as they definitely call him this side of the Border) managed to find us in our new home.  

And here were are in 2011....Happy New Year!

12 comments:

  1. Oh happy happy new year, you, whether it's a year for Plan B or Plan G!

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  2. We didn't find out with Maxi, but just knew with Mini! What ever will be will be and it will be fabulous darling - in my best strictly come dancing accent.

    Happy New year to you all, or shouldn't that be happy hogmanay?

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  3. Boys pee in your face when you change their nappies but are adorable in every other way.
    Whatever happens, I'm sure he or she will fit in just right with your family. Keep us posted!

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  4. Happy New Year my gorgeous girl! So excited for you and quite understand the position you are in and you are so right, it is a baby you want regardless of the x & y's.

    MD xxx

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  5. I found out every time - I just wanted to know and to have some link to the baby inside (and yes being scanned every two weeks meant it was kind of hard not to)

    I hope the scan goes well - can't wait to hear if its a blue or pink package

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  6. I always found out too - it made those vague babies more real to me. I do hope you get a boy. We had one each already, and this time I kind of wanted another girl. There's something special about having a girl. But then it was a boy and now I couldn't imagine him not being a boy. He's just perfect. As for the loving mummy like only a boy can, be careful what you wish for. In four and a half months, I have left him with other people (eg his daddy - evil me!) and every time he has SCREAMED at them because he can only be happy with his mother. Me. He won't go to sleep without me (unless he's in the buggy, thank everything that is holy for that), is still breastfeeding (so obviously) and it's driving me a little crazy. But his brother wasn't like that, so I won't scare you. ;-)

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  7. Living Down Under4 January 2011 at 09:46

    Just stumbled across your blog and this post resonated with me. We just had our boy after two girls. And when he was born i was so surprised (for some reason i was totally expecting a girl) I kept saying it over and over again "I can't believe it's a boy!"

    We didn't find out because when it was time for the ultrasound at 20 weeks, i couldn't stand the thought of getting rid of all the cute girly clothes quite yet. I figured regardless of the gender I'd be happy when it was born. Not sure if that logic makes any sense... :)

    Good luck to you! Hope you get your boy!

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  8. How exciting - good luck finding out - whatever the 'result'!. My two boys were both a surprise but I was extremely tempted to find out on number two. Have tagged you over at mine. Enjoy x

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  9. Oh my goodness, can you imagine a boy with all those sisters to mother him?! It'll be good news either way, what an exciting way to start the New Year. Have fun finding out!

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  10. exciting, we found out and very glad
    Can't wait to hear x

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  11. Well, now it's tomorrow.... And I'm really nervous. Is that silly? Veering between wanting one and then the other. Little afraid, to be honest, that I'll be disappointed either way, but if that is the case then definitely better to be disappointed now, and get used to the idea over the next twenty weeks, than be disappointed when he/she gets here.....

    Sorry not to reply individually too. I have been reading and smiling at each comment (although rather worriedly at Trish's) but it is late, and I selfishly want to post a new post before tomorrow. x

    ps but to Lorna - I know! He'll either be totally brilliantly camply gay, or terrifyingly macho and fantastic at DIY....

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I know. I'm sorry. I hate these word recognition, are you a robot, guff things too, but having just got rid of a large number of ungrammatical and poorly spelt adverts for all sorts of things I don't want, and especially don't want on my blog, I'm hoping that this will mean that only lovely people, of the actually a person variety, will comment.

So please do. Comments are great...