Let me start with a confession. I only do things I'm good at and I only attempt things I think I might be good at. Seriously. Among the things I won't do are: play tennis, play Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit, karaoke (except under extreme duress), speak in public, wear fancy dress, mountain climb (or abseil) or attempt to speak (not even one word) any foreign language other than French or Russian (and I've got a degree in those two).
There is only one reason for this. I'm rubbish (or I think I would be rubbish) at all of them. And somehow, somewhere, I've got into my head that life is a competition, and if I know I'm not in with a chance of winning, I just won't try.
So what about blogging? Given just how technologically useless I am, I should have decided in advance that I'd be rubbish at blogging and never got started in the first place. But I did, and I am, and I've realised that blogging (at least the mummy version of it) really isn't a competition. People have all sorts of stories and all sorts of ways of expressing them and the only universal trait is the support out there. It's not about who's better or worse or even different from whom. It's about saying what you need to say for the reasons you need to say it.
But I still want to know how I'm doing. Perhaps especially because I'm still hoping that somewhere along the line the blog will help me find my plan b. I get very excited by awards, comments, new followers and the British Mummy Blogger of the Week. (This week's is awesome by the way). And now I've been reading Sally at Who's the Mummy's posts about the Tots 100 list. I realise I'm a way off that yet, but (is this an admission you'll all hate me for making?) I'm aiming for it. I haven't put myself forward yet - as I said, I don't do things I might fail at - but I've done what Sally says, and put myself on Technorati. I don't really know what it does, and I'm not sure I've done the right thing (I've "claimed" my blog but that might not be right at all). Anyway they want me to put this code 82R87DV3BSVW into a blog post so they can check that I am who I say I am...
I realise that in the wonderfully supportive blogosphere in which I find myself, perhaps admitting to competitive thoughts is akin to admitting in an NCT class that you're having an elective cs and don't want to breastfeed, but it is, I'm afraid, just who I am. Forgive me?
Florence - even pimpiered hutch
15 hours ago